Friday, October 19, 2007
::Prelude to Farewell::

I had fallen in love with something untouchable, incomprehensible, and most importantly something that didn’t belong to me. Everyday I grew jealous of them- hoping I could just die, but I thought ‘Would that even make a difference’. My heart grew colder with each passing thought…of the blood I sought to see. What once was a smile was replaced with a scowl. I want to go back to a day where everything seemed to be alright-where everything wasn’t so black and white. Why do these recurring thoughts of her death keep repeating in my mind? Why is it that every time you are around I feel as if I turn to stone and wish I weren’t there-wishing I was anywhere but in front of you? Why is it when I see you and her together I feel as if my heart is ripping-the pain almost unbearable? Why do I have to be the one to hold back the tears with every passing thought of you? You keep breaking me without the slightest intention of doing so. I can’t blame you for it was a fault on my own. If I shut everyone’s ears, would you listen to me then? What would it take for you to look at me with those same eyes? My love is buried underneath the smiles of the rest of the world. ‘Do you even know my name?’ I ask myself. You aren’t even listening; even if I died you would not know-even in the next life, you will live not even knowing me. Can’t come close, can’t touch, you’re the one I can’t hold. I’m going to go meet you tonight in my dreams again. Why can’t you see me, if I erased the world would you see me then? Even if I can’t have you, even if it is only in my mind, even if I can’t touch you, even if it is a meaningless dream, even if I can’t talk to you, even if I have to hide and watch from far away, you won’t know, but I’ll love you…even if you don’t know who I am…I have fallen in a helpless love and I can’t get myself out…

posted by Aziiancaligirl at 4:49 PM -
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Name: Aziiancaligirl
Home: My room, California, United States
About Me: Heys, 17, from oside california...umm...not much, hit me up on my aim to talk if you have questions or want to know more about me ^_^
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